If you’re stumped for Halloween costume ideas this year, don’t worry–you can dress as your favorite character from the Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates! All you’ll need are a few common household items, a winning smile, and a big sign with your character’s name on it that you can wear around your neck (’cause if your friends haven’t read the book yet, they won’t have a clue who you’re trying to be).

To dress as Hilary, put your hair in a braid and wear big hoop earrings. Carry a bag with a gargoyle’s head poking out. When your neighbors ask if you’d like some candy, say, “A true pirate would never refuse such a generous offer!” Remember to share your loot with the gargoyle.

To dress as the gargoyle, wear grey clothes. Put your hands behind your back and hop around on your knees. When your neighbors ask if you’d like some candy, say, “No thank you, but do you have any spiders?” Encourage people to scratch you behind the ears.

To dress as Miss Greyson, wear a long skirt and a high-necked blouse. Stick a golden crochet hook in your hair. When your neighbors ask if you’d like some candy, turn up your nose and insist on cucumber sandwiches instead. Wonder aloud whether it is entirely practical to wander the streets at night in search of unhealthy foodstuffs.

To dress as Admiral Westfield, wear a blue coat with shiny buttons. Pat your friends on the head and tell them to run along and be good. When your neighbors ask if you’d like some candy, grab the entire bowl and run away while laughing in a villainous manner.

To dress as Claire, wear an itchy gray dress and a green cardigan embroidered with a dancing sheep. Don’t forget to be dramatic. When your neighbors ask if you’d like some candy, avoid the Swedish Fish.

To dress as Jasper Fletcher, wear a big pirate hat. Try your best to look dashing. When your neighbors ask if you’d like some candy, offer to hand their candy out to all the other children in the neighborhood. When everyone’s had their fair share, take whatever’s left and bury it in a hole marked with an X.

To dress as pretty much any other character, carry a big plastic sword and say, “Arr!” a lot.